Answers

2014-06-26T22:59:32+05:30
The person who inspires me is my brother cousin who is not that rich but has crossed iim Ahemdabad and is a doctor also he studied night long and did not wasted time in anything. Anshan use to do part time job along with his studies. he did not even no whether he ate food or not but kept studying that is why he is my inspiration  
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2014-06-27T10:33:47+05:30
For starters, this is pretty good, but short for an essay. "my Mother" - don't capitalize the M in mother unless you are caller her "Mom" or "Mother," but you have "my" so you don't need to do that. 

In the second paragraph, "This fact alone..." should be "These facts alone..." because you are describing more than one thing. Put commas before "but". 

I think that if you want to blow this essay out of the park, you need to write about a specific time when you had a deep connection or shared a great moment with your mother. Usually the best essays are the ones that reveal who your mother really is by what she does. For example, you can explain her hardships and what she and you went through. When writing, I find that people are really touched when I reveal things that may be embarrassing or things I want to hide; because when I read this, I felt like I didn't really get to know your mom, you were just saying good things about her. 

I'm not trying to put you down, but just trying to help you make it better. I hope it helps. Good luck!
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